055 If You Love Something… (08-18-13)

Told by Jemma.

I was glad that Stevan was able to come to Blue’s birthday party. Even if he seemed a little off or something.

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I didn’t want any cake. I just wanted to talk to Stevan. I was getting tired of this shit.

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“Man, last night’s shift was crazy. I’m still exhausted. Want a drink, babe?”

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“No, I want you to pick up your daughter.”

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“Uhhh… right now?”

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“Yes, right now! You’ve barely even seen her yet!”

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I felt like my head was gonna explode… but I kept my cool.

“Okay, after I finish this drink.”

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I was speechless. Did he really not even care about holding his daughter?

“Stevan. You love me, don’t you?”

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“Yes baby, of course!”

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“Well, I need to see you show it more. I mean, it seems like I am doing everything. Like, I’m always the one who calls you and comes over any hour of the night. You never call me first.”

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“I do! I call you sometimes!”

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“I need to see you try harder, dammit! And I want Jovanna to get to know her daddy.”

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We chatted a bit more, nothing too monumental, but he did say he was really going to try harder. After he had a few drinks, I told him he shouldn’t drive and he could stay here. So I went to fetch Jemma. She had wandered off in the other room so I let her drink her baba by herself, ’cause frankly I didn’t care.

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I hated her.

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And I loved her.

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Just like I hated Stevan.

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And I loved him.

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Why do I keep doing this to myself?

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…/

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“Hi Mamma!”

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“Look dis!”

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The more I held her, the more I fell in love with her.

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Though I didn’t always too do well with caring for her, because sometimes I think I purposely ignored her.

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I wondered if it would ever change.

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And if we were really meant to be.

Tegan: “You guys need to get your own place.”

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“That might be nice.”

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“But I like it at home.”

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“Okay.”

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“So you’re here again.”

“Oh hi, Mr. Watley.”

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“Ya know, I have a blue belt in Simfu. Isn’t that cool?”

“Uhhh….”

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“It’s all about strength training, and precise, definite hits.”

“Y-yeah…”

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“And all I need is a dummy to practice on.”

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Sharona: “Garrick, are you indirectly threatening that boy?”

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“Okay, lemme say this.”

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“I’m pregnant. And pregnant women can get very emotional. As you’ve likely seen with Jemma.”

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“She’s my daughter, and I love her very much. And I’m sure you love her too—”

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“Mrs. Watley, I—”

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“Lemme put it this way, Stevan.”

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“You break her and I’ll break you.”

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Clearly I had a big decision to make. I decided at least, for now, I needed to start exploring my options.

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~//~

15 thoughts on “055 If You Love Something… (08-18-13)

  1. *resists urge to reach through computer and strangle Stevan (mostly because I can’t)*
    D: Oh man poor Jovanna.
    Jemma sweetie… (aside) Yeah I think you can do better, you’re gorgeous darlin.

    Seriously though I really feel bad for Jemma, I hope she figures out what will be best for her or Stevan freakin mans up.

  2. Awh, I loved the bit with Jemma and Joanna. It made me so sad, but I loved the writing of it! So stark, but so heartbreaking. 😦

    Also props to Shar and Garrick for telling off Stevan! The douchebag had it coming.

  3. I feel so sorry for Jovanna! Her mom is going through an emotional time with her dad and she’s kinda left in the dirt by her (sometimes). I’m glad Jemma is living with her parents or I feel something bad might happen to Jovanna. 😦 But she’s a great mom and it’s her first child anyways.
    Stevan is really annoying and must have ADHD!? I hope she finds better!

  4. Stevan needs to be a better daddy. At least Jemma is trying. Jovanna is adorable.
    Garrick’s subtle threats funny. Sharona is more direct.

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