103 Mama Shar’s Pregnancy Days at Jemma’s

Told by the Simgod.

Shar wanted to spend the last days of her final pregnancy at Jemma’s, so that Jemma could help with a home birth and be a midwife to her mom.

Phoebe: “Grandma! You’re as big as a house!”

Phoenix: “Okay, everyone gather in for a family photo.”

Garrick: “Jemma, you’re looking radiant my dear!”

Mom: “You never say that to me anymore. Is it because I’m always pregnant?”

Dad: “You know I love you Shar, pregnant or not.”

Jovi: “How can you be my uncle when we’re the same age?”

Salem: “Why not? What’s wrong with it?”

“I dunno I just figured uncles were kind of fatherly and nice.”

Salem: “You think I’m not fatherly and nice?”

“Ummm… you’re definitely not fatherly.”

“I’m gonna be a great father, you just watch.”

“Okay, Mr. Projecting much.”

Fefe invited a friend over for dinner.

“Hi, glad you could come!”

“You look… swaggy. So what do you wanna do before we eat?”

Willa: “I dunno. Play something?”

“By the way, did you know boogers taste salty?”



“Okay, so… I have a train set…”

Jemma!!! NO COOKING! No!!

“I’m making chili con carne. Phoenix gave me the recipe for it, it’s his favorite. I can do this!”

“Don’t look at me like that! I WON’T mess it up.”

Wow, it actually looks good.

Jemma: “Told ya.”

Phoebe: “Grandma, look! Momma made chili and it smells really good!”

Fefe: “Mmmmmmmm!”

Jemma: “Simgod, we thank you for this food which nourishes our bodies. We thank you for this beautiful house and all our family to enjoy food and company with. Amen Ra.”

Okay, let’s dig in!”

“HOLLLLLY HELL, that’s hot!”

Fefe: “Wow! I can’t feel my face or my body anymore. Is this real life?”

Phoenix: “Mmmm, I like it! Not too spicy.”

Kale: “Nope, it’s a little too spicy.”

It’s a good thing baby Pasha didn’t have to eat that.

Willa: “Can I take your place if you’re done, Fefe?”

“Why sure, little ma’am.”

“Little ma’am?”

“Uhh…. I was just… umm, why sure Willa.”

Mom: “I’m so happy I’m here to have my last babies ever!”

Jemma: “There’s still three, right?”

“Of course! Do you think they would die in my belly?”

“God, mom, that’s horrible! Can you be less blunt and crude sometimes?”

Shar: “Sorry.”

Shar: “I can’t help being a multi-Sag.”

Jemma: “I don’t even know what you mean by that.”

“We Sagittarius are blu—- what? Phoenix, do you mind?! I was just talking to my daughter.”

Phoenix: “Sorry Shar, I’m sharp and I get right to the point. Excuse us.”

“Hmh. Garrick’s gone home. Well, I guess it’s just you and me, soft pink couch.”


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